When I first started ‘Mistressing’, there were many things I had to learn. It was daunting but very exciting also!! It wasn’t just technical things like flogging safely, how and where to insert needles or the areas to aim for caning, but psychologically also. Learning that it is not just what happens in the session room but before and after also. The connection starts when the first email/text or phone call happens. For Me it is so important W/we are in tune with each other. I want My kinkster’s to feel comfortable in My presence so that trust is there.
So starting out the key is getting your name out there. I started with a temporary website that was Ok but not brilliant. A great website developer was recommended to Me, and together We built My website and I loved it! You need to love your website and make sure it reflects You and how You want others to see You. Promotion is very important but also though can be expensive. Starting out you don’t know which is the best directory to pay for advertising and which is the ones best for free listings, there are so many out there.
I spent hours reading through so many directories and there are some amazing ones, with the majority offering a free listing You just have to take time and work out what paid advertising works for you and what doesn’t. Over 2 years I have spent a lot of money on advertising some to benefit, some not so much. I now have set a limited budget each year and I have to invest that carefully. Speculate to accumulate wisely.
Another promotional tool that is free is Twitter, an amazing social platform. I had never really used it before so took Me a while to understand how it works and slowly but surely build My followers. One trap I have not fallen into is looking down on newbies coming along and thinking I am better than them. We all started at 1 follower, so let’s not be so quick to judge. Who knows in years to come how successful people will be. Twitter should not be the reflection on succession.
It is a great tool to promote Yourself and others with regular Tweets, updates, re-Tweets and pictures. Instagram is another platform that I am just starting out with and it’s taken a while to get the hang of but it is pretty much pic and hashtags. I don’t have loads of followers but they will build just as Twitter does. Something I was told when training in Managerial was ‘Be careful how You treat other’s on the way up, as You might meet them on the way down’. This is so important to Me, I treat others as they treat Me and always like to make My own opinion on a person, Mistress or kinkster.
Does the Outfit define You?
One other investment are outfits and yet again this can be very costly. I think for the first year I had one PVC dress, thigh high boots, some lace outfits I already had and a pair of glittery platform heels. You need to look the part but the Dominatrix comes from within, not from what You are wearing. Remember that.
Next are photo shoots. Now I love a good shoot but when I started out I hated them!!! As a young child put a camera at Me and I would give the cheesiest smile, into My adolescence I became your average grumpy teenager, I don’t think I have 1 smiling picture!! I then decided if a pic has to be taken I would either do a cheesy grin or pull a funny face, I was never good at ‘The Pout’. Into the Mistress world I would see all these amazing pics that were taken of Domme’s and be like, ‘Yeah I can’t do that’. I didn’t have ‘A Mistress Face!!’ I am not a pouty person, I am a smiler so I did struggle quite a lot. Y/you wouldn’t think something as small as this would be an issue but Y/you would be surprised.
Eventually I learnt to do a pretty good resting Bitch face, and decided that I can have smiling pictures as well. It reflects My personality and as a Mistress I allow My personality to blend. I don’t act a certain way in the room and a different out. Again this took Me a while to accept that not all Mistresses are the same and some like My approach some maybe don’t. I can be serious and harsh and I can be fun, flirty and teasing. All I say is thank god for selfies, they get such a good angle.
It’s a process of learning
I am still learning, and working out best ways to promote and make a success out of Myself. I want to thank all the fellow Mistresses who help promote Me, I do the same back. Also thank you to My subs, supporters and kink out there, without you guys what I do wouldn’t be possible! Mwah xxx
Mistress Luci xxx